An inconclusive list of things I’ve learned from having a puppy in the house (again)

  1. Tiles are a godsend.
  2. Carpet accidents happen. Despite your best efforts.
  3. Money spent on a good carpet cleaner is never a waste.
  4. Reading instructions and learning the proper use of your carpet cleaner is time well spent.
  5. Puppies (like teens) eat a lot. They will eat pretty much any everything.
  6. Puppies have two speeds; full throttle or fast asleep.
  7. You will walk more than you usually do or care to. You may even run.
  8. The older dog will teach the puppy good habits. And bad ones.
  9. The sound of dogs play-fighting is different from the sound of dogs actually fighting.
  10. Puppies learn rules quickly. They will flaunt them. While looking at you from the corner of their eyes.
  11. Puppies will bring out the gentleness and sweetness in recalcitrant teens.
  12. You will be responsible for the puppy (even though it will “belong” to the nearly-adult child).
  13. You will not mind this responsibility. You always wanted a horde of kids and dogs.
  14. You can teach a puppy to boop noses.
  15. Clever dogs learn quickly. Good behaviour, and bad.
  16. There is intense joy in being greeted at the door by excited dogs.

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That’s Not A Knife, This Is A Knife

Here we are four adults, or near-adults, crammed sardine-like into a two-bedroom apartment until we find an over-priced, under-sized house to buy. Living cheek by jowl with teenaged children is like living in a share-house with bears who forgot to hibernate through winter. I do not recommend it for long periods of time. My epithets for the children – Godzilla and the TeenWolf – have never been truer. Their appetites, their ability to generate landfills’ worth of garbage, and their Bollywood levels of melodrama leave me dizzy and gasping.

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